Thursday, May 1, 2008

God's Hand

I love learning! Mostly because it's not the way I want to learn, which is fast and easy. Instead it requires patience and introspection, both of which are qualities that I apparently need to hone. And what's funny is that even "patience" that I work on, in the grand picture of my life, or even more grand, eternity, is not really patience. What I felt I had to wait and worry over was not really that long. Case in point....

Last night was the last night that Beth could redeem her little "Book It" certificate for a free pizza. All week it had been prominently displayed in the kitchen, we were waiting for Wednesday so we could go redeem it and get ice cream afterward for everyone. So, naturally, yesterday afternoon, we were all very excited about it and passing around the certificate before Jos came home. Can you guess what happened? Well, I could. Time came to go and we Could Not Find it anywhere. We searched. Beth prayed. I prayed. We all got together and did a little "vibration harmonizing", we imagined having the certificate and how happy and grateful we were for it, the feel of it in our hands, knowing that Beth would go and get her recognition. We searched some more and some more. Nothing. We decided that it wasn't meant to be and went to go get the ice cream (and had fun!) Beth was a champ and didn't even cry. I wanted to a little.

So today goes on as normal. We're getting dinner ready, I get out the aluminum foil, and in there is the award! I won't name names, but it was with a camo bouncy ball, okay, it was Amasa. I called Le Pizza Hut, and we could still redeem it. So we did! Beth got her little pizza and all was well with the world.

Why did we have to wait for an answer to our prayers? No wait, that's not right. He did answer our prayers right away, it was, "not now". But then in mercy, He answered the way we wanted just a day later. It made me wonder how often in my life I whine and cry when I get a "not now", or even (forbid it!) a "no". Heavenly Father knows what is best for me more than I do. That is a tough pill for me to swallow sometimes. After all, I know a lot :-) So, the moral of this story is that I am understanding faith a little more, and patience a little more. Now the goal is not to forget the lesson.

On a different note, I have been backsliding the past few days in regards to how I am controlling my thoughts and vibrations. I have been feeling down, and really having to concentrate on what thoughts I am entertaining, and if they are TRUTH, or just appearances. When truth and appearances don't match (which is often), it takes a lot of energy to think truth. And it is a new habit I am forming, so I know it will get easier with time. Hmmm, faith that I can do it, and patience while the habit forms....seems like I've got a recurring theme here.

I am hoping this blog will help me to be more accountable for what I am doing with what I've been given. I need to set some goals....I have really been just skating and surviving for the past 2 years and I am sick of it. I think Heavenly Father is, too, which is why I have all these awesome tools and resources now. So watch me now, here I go!


claudia said...

Yay, Amanda! I love you what can I say more? Where to start...

I totally hear ya on the whole truth/appearance issue. I've been wondering if this whole LDS appearance issue is just a Utah thing or what...who knows. Let's stay REAL people!

Oh, I met someone who owns a bike shop who also makes trikes - his shop is in Sandy...he was an interesting person.

I'm so glad to hear that you're coming our of your depression. This winter was the worst (not to mention the scariest) ever! Depression is SO real and SO debilitating!

Last but not least time may pass on this earth and a year or more may pass before we speak to eachother but we are friends that will stay friends throughout eternity! I'm glad to hear you have a blog - atleast we can keep in touch this way!

I also, struggled with the whole blog life but, decided to go ahead and dive into it as well. I just make sure I stay aware as to where my priorities lie - making sure that blogging doesn't come first in my life. . .

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

claudia said...

I had to say one more thing - I LOVE JANE EYRE TOO!!! I'm convinced that I will never love a book more than this day I will visit you and we'll chat about that book. IT'S THE BEST!!!